So...2014. Ran my first 5K with Shandree. Then ran another, because why not? Said goodbye to the house I grew up in, because mom had to move. Then she had to move again. :-/ Played a lot of shows, and opened for Weezer! But failed to write anything of substance. Had some great internet conversations.
Had some moments of absolute panic and existential dread. Removed a chunk of skin from my back. Turned 40. Probably unrelated.
I realized (As I do every year) that I worry too much, and act too little. Dreaming is great if it leads to doing, so I resolve to dream and do, in close-to equal measure. I resolve to play well, and enjoy the chances I get, while abstaining from lamenting on the chances I don't. I resolve to be an actual friend, rather than an internet friend, which feeds into my desire to leave FB behind. I resolve to make a concerted effort to be present. To pay attention, and see needs, and try to fill them if I am able, God willing.
I will read more books. I will read less rumor. I will try to gossip less, and be forthright with all. I will work as if it's a gift, because it is. Basically, grow up.
I will draw pictures of giant robots and cowboys and airplanes and monsters. I will play drums with my son, and games with my daughter, and everything in between. I will not take myself so seriously. Basically, stay young.
And all these intentions mean nothing if I don't have love. So I will pray that God fills me with love, and washes out judgement and vindictiveness and prejudice. I aim to love as I have been loved. Not just in words and wishes. How do I do that? We'll see.
So Happy New Year, friends. May you live and love. I hope we see each other soon. Nothing changes tonight that can't change anytime, but I like the thought of a clean slate. Or at least, renewed enthusiasm. Peace and Grace, friends.
-Nas
